The same is true for empathy: if you show empathy towards another person, they are more likely to work with you on a solution or problem rather than getting angry or defensive about it. If you approach someone angrily, they will be hostile towards you as well. People are more likely to mirror the emotions of those around them. If you stop feeling like a victim, you can make positive changes to yourself. People often feel like victims and become stuck in that mindset.

The coach wanted Wendy to realize that she could change her behavior to be more productive, so she suggested considering Kevin’s viewpoint, knowing why he was leaving early, discussing work-life balance with him or her manager, or slowing down and refusing more work than she could handle. She felt like he wasn’t pulling his weight and that she had to pick up the slack for him. Wendy was frustrated with Kevin because he left work early. Now Wendy believes that they’re equally at fault for their conflict, even though she feels like Kevin should be more responsible than her.

They had a fight about it, which didn’t go well because when she challenged him, he became defensive. She thinks he shifts difficult assignments to her and doesn’t do his part in the office. Wendy felt that Kevin’s a slacker and always leaves early. Don’t think that the problem is with someone else, because they’re not perfect either. You need to try harder and be more patient. If you feel like changing something in your life but can’t, it’s time to take action. You’re unhappy with your current situation and see a pattern of repetition. Here are some ways to change that dynamic: Giving up on making things better can lead to anger and disengagement. You may feel like the other person is not listening or cares about what you have to say. When you’re frustrated, it’s hard to get your point across. 1-Page Summary of I Hear You At a Loss for Words

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